I wanted to go into more detail about a typical day of recruiting in the neighborhoods. The past few days my partner and I were recruiting in RV Taylor homes. These are public housing facilities. They are small, cheaply made, and provide a sense that a family isn't suppose to get comfortable and feel at home in them. They're supposed to live there until they can move out to a better living arrangement. But, that's not always the result-- forcing families to live in these poorly built housing facilities.
So we are given tracking sheets with past participants and we go door to door via the tracking sheet information to try and find the children to sign them up to take the survey.
We knock on the first door. No one answers so we start preparing a door hanger with information about the study. Then a young boy about 12 answers the door and we definitely woke him up. We get out to the neighborhoods pretty early, so waking up the kids who are sleeping in because it's summer is pretty common. We get the child signed up and move on to the next address.
The next door we knock on houses a family not on the tracking sheet. This is very common, especially in the public housing developments. Families move in and out very often. We ask for any children ages 10-18 and see if they're interested in getting signed up for the survey. Luckily this boy has taken the survey in the past so he's already in our records. The mother is holding back 3 kids who are pretty eagerly trying to get out on the porch to visit us. The older one--who we are signing up is successful and expresses how excited he is for the survey. He asks if it's in the same spot as last year and if he still gets $15. He sweetly asks us to write down 10:55am instead of 11am so he's on time. Then he let's his younger brother speak. The younger boy makes little sense. I attributed it to excitement, but his mother explained that he rarely talks and doesn't make much sense. He has a learning disability and I'm pretty certain he was blind.
We move onto the next house. This grandmother invites us in, fixes up the couch for us, and screams for all of her grandchildren to come into the room. One grand-daughter, probably in her early twenties is bottle-feeding a 3-month old baby. She was precious. Unfortunately the mother was too old to take the survey, so we moved on to asking about the children on our tracking sheet. We get them signed up. We visit with the grandmother until we decided it's time for us to head out.
The next house looks vacant. But from prior experience, just because something looks vacant doesn't always mean that it is. In one instance, my partner and I swore a house was vacant and a family of 9 answered the door. But, this house was definitely vacant. We could see in the window. The appliances were ripped out from the wall and taken-- all expect a thawed out refrigerator. This is the worst smell in the world. This smell mixed with piled garbage gives a scent of rotting carcass. The windows weren't boarded up, so this house must have been recently moved out of. The back door was wide open and we could see the thawed out refrigerator and garbage... this shot down my partner's assumption that a murder occurred here and a dead body must be rotting inside.
We find 2-3 more houses like this in our tracking sheets. Sometimes it's easy to identify houses that are vacant--they're boarded up. But other clues help us to determine the living situation in the household. Can you feel the air conditioning escaping out of the door? Is there recent mail on the porch? Can you hear music/the TV on in the house? Are you able to see in the windows? Can you ask a neighbor? One interesting fact that my partner and I have noticed is that many houses have ADT/Brinks security stickers everywhere. I doubt these homes have these services, but it's definitely used to avoid robberies by the tenants.
We move on and knock on a house where the door is broken. We hear people yelling at us to use the back door, so we do. We're asked to come in by a young mother, probably in her thirties. We have 7 kids on the tracking sheet. We ask if they still live here and if they want to do the survey this year. As a 2 year old is pulling on my leg and a scrawny cat is rubbing up against my partner were told that this child died and this teen is in jail, but the others want to do the survey and she has some others to sign up. The house is a mess and there's graffiti on the walls. The lights aren't on-- and may not be working-- and I can see about 10 people sitting in the living room.
As we approach another house there are 5 old men sitting outside drinking beer out of cans in brown bags. It's 10am. We asked them about the children on our tracking sheets. They men are nice, but due to their drunken state aren't much help. With leave them with information and move on.
We have another address, which is further out so we start our walk. We get stopped by a mother in a minivan with 6 children in the back. She asks if we're with the survey and if we can sign up her daughter. We ask her where she lives and we follow her to her driveway. She hurries into the house with her kids and the young men all wearing red (probably members of the blood) at the neighboring house explains why. We head in after her, get her daughter signed up, and then leave. We're stopped by the men outside and asked if they can be signed up for the survey. We tell them that we're looking for younger kids like 10-12 and they joke with us for a bit with that being their age. They aren't very threatening and we leave the neighborhood and head back to the office for lunch.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Field Pictures
Roger Williams Public Housing:
Downtown Mobile:
Downtown Prichard:
Vacant:
Boarded up public housing facilities in RV Taylor Homes:
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
shannonmhitchcock@gmail.com
Hey all,
A pretty traumatic event occurred and I want to share it with my readers because it definitely has impacted me, the other interns, and my overall time spent in Mobile. But, due to it's severity I don't feel comfortable sharing it with the world wide web so please email me personally and I will gladly email it to you without a problem. I do feel that it was unfortunately life changing enough to share and would appreciate your interest and care to read it, so please don't hesitate.
Thanks much & miss you all.
Lots of love,
Shannon
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The things that make you stronger
I wrote this last Thursday, but still needed to cool down and recuperate from it (and finish writing the post) before I posted it… so here it is:
I know this is really long, but please read it.
Today was difficult.
This internship has shown me things that I would never wish on my worst enemy. I know that makes me sound like a martyr and I’m not trying to come off that way at all, so if I am I apologize. I also don’t want to come off as a complainer because that’s not my intention either. I’m using this blog to document my internship, and unfortunately the bad things happen more often than the good. You’ll see me write about the perfectly sweet and innocent moments that I’ve experienced—an honestly I cherish those. Because when bad days, like today, occur—it’s those sweet moments that remind me that things will be okay.
Today, a team of interns was sent to a site to administer a mass quantity of surveys. This was my third day at the site so I was pretty confident in my capabilities of handling the parents and children so I volunteered to run the check-in table. This position entails checking in each child on the master list. The master list has every single person that has taken the survey as well as those who have not taken the survey. It was my job to get a name—check the list… and if the name was on the list—check the other information (middle name, address, birthdate). We do this to make sure: 1. the child has not already taken the survey (scamming us out of extra $$), 2. that this is the correct child by checking the other information (again scamming us by stealing some other kid’s information) and most importantly 3. that the child has consent. If the child’s name is not on the list we tell them that they have to come back with a parent or primary guardian to get consent to take the survey. So, this job is a little strenuous when children try to scam us or when parents get angry because they have to come in to give their child permission. But, I’ve done it before so I wasn’t worried.
The site we were running the surveys at is a women’s shelter as well as a community center. We check the children in downstairs in the community center/office area and the surveys are administered upstairs in the bedrooms. I know that sounds a little strange, but when a place allows you to administer surveys for free you kind of have to work with what they’ve got. So we’re all set up and ready to start checking people in when an older man under some influence comes into the center screaming. This is a woman’s shelter, but the workers here do allow men to come in and use the bathroom or drink from the water fountain. Every man I’ve seen has been polite, grateful, and charming. They appreciate the fact that the center lets them come in and even some of the men are welcomed to use the phone and even join in on watching The Price is Right—why because they’re appreciative and well-behaved. But, this man was known by the center for not being well-behaved and I got to experience that. He came in swearing and slamming doors. The secretaries asked him to leave right off the bat but then he started screaming about the oppression her felt from everyone in sight. Then he asked to use the phone but then ran into the bathroom and slammed everything in the bathroom. He was obviously drunk and it was 10am, but it was just honestly scary. It was especially scary because I was right next to the men’s bathroom and I was in the hallway where he decided to throw his fit. While he was continually and continually being asked to leave by the staff a fellow intern and I just stared. He yelled and yelled more. He finally slammed the door and left. We were really shaken up by this point and we hadn’t even started our administration yet. At this point I was just mad. I know it’s not fair that this man has problems and I don’t know him well enough to judge the situation that just occurred.
So check-in was running pretty smoothly. We consented new people and got other returning participants in to take the survey. But, one thing that really makes me mad about consenting the participants is that parents lie. Parents lie about their child’s age, their relationship to the child, and even if the child has ever taken the survey before. Kids lie, but it’s expected—the fact that they’re children doesn’t make it okay but we can understand it better. But, grown adults who lie in front of their children right to our faces is absolutely not acceptable. It makes the kids think it’s okay to lie and it’s just awful. We deal with this all of the time. It’s frustrating and it really makes you feel cheated. This will come into play later.
So the day’s weather went south pretty fast and a horrible thunder and lightening storm came through. We thought that this would either make our survey site completely dead or that it would be ridiculously busy. Dead because people wouldn’t want to trek through the weather to get here. Busy because the parents/family members waiting for their children to be done would wait inside and cause congestion… everywhere. The latter is of course what happened. Allowing people to stay in the community center while it’s storming is not a problem at all. It just makes things chaotic. The children who have already taken the survey try to sneak back into new survey administrations and run around like crazy. It’s difficult. Today made this even more difficult because the community center was running a senior citizen arts and crafts project in the middle of our survey ‘holding center’ (for the children signed in and waiting to be put in a group for survey administration). These three young girls came up to the check-in table wanting to sign in. One of them gave all of the correct information so we let her in. The second one stumbled over her name, how to spell it, gave a wrong middle name and birthday, and took forever to tell us her address. These are all telltale signs that the child is trying to scam us. I told her that I thought she was lying about who she was and she gave me attitude and argued that just because she was ‘slow’ that I shouldn’t judge her for not knowing how to spell her name. Meanwhile, her friends are all giggling behind her. So, I told her that she would not be taking the survey today and that she could call our office if she had problems.
The next girl was on our list, but already took the survey. I told her that she took it two days ago and she said that wasn’t possible. I shouldn’t have—but I gave her the benefit of the doubt and called the office to verify. It was a waste of time so I told her she wouldn’t be taking the survey either. They were obviously bummed, but didn’t seem too upset and ran back outside to play in the rain. About twenty minutes later I find the two of them back in line. I told them that I recognized them and that they still couldn’t take the survey and they laughed and ran away. I let them stay inside because it was pouring, but twenty minutes later they started acting horrible. They asked to use the phone and I was fine with that because I was hoping it would get them out of there asap. It didn’t. And they started acting worse. The office staff was annoyed with them too, so I told the girls that they had to leave the premises because it was private property. They gave me attitude but left. Yes it was still raining but there was an awning and they just called their mom who was on her way. The office staff thanked me and I didn’t think it was a problem because the girls were playing in the rain earlier.
That’s until the mother got to the site… running in, slamming the door, and screaming about some bitch who wouldn’t let her daughters stay inside in this storm. I knew she was referring to me so I confronted her because I didn’t want anyone else to take the blame. I told the mother the story—that her daughters lied, acted awful, caused chaos, and were really rude to the staff. The mother didn’t like my answer so a staff member stepped in and told the mother to look around and realize that every other child was behaving and that her daughters were absolutely not. This verbal yelling from the mother went on for a while and I’ve never felt so small. I didn’t raise my voice, I listened to her, and I didn’t fight back. There was no use and it wasn’t going to change her mind about how much I didn’t know about how to treat people. The staff finally got her out and then the waiting parents and staff members made sure I was okay and told me that the lady was crazy and not to take it personal. It’s hard to not take things personal, but I really couldn’t let it get to me. The other parents were honestly appreciative that those girls and the mother left because they were disturbing their peace and quiet. I was just really mad and a little upset. Especially when the mother called me out on “not understanding her situation in life,” insinuating that I was “too privileged” to relate to people in “her state” in life. I just felt really judged and belittled.
It was only 2pm. The storm continued and we lost power—if you could imagine three groups of ten children each being in creepy bedrooms in the absolute dark. Thank God the lights came back on pretty quickly.
After a younger group of children finished the survey and were let out a little boy came up to the office crying. He was being ushered into the office by a staff member so I went up to his sister to ask what was wrong. She told me that someone stole their money. Who would steal two 10 year olds money? I asked her to tell me exactly what happened and she said that before her uncle brought them to the survey he planned on taken $5 from each of them for signing them up. I remembered her uncle—who evidently lied to us about being the children’s caregiver. This was an extensive lie because he went on and on about how the children live with him full time and how he was their only parental figure in their lives. I really hate when adults (he had to be in his 30’s) lie. It’s just so wrong. So we told the little boy to call his mom and that we weren’t letting them go home with the uncle. Then the uncle comes in and he was furious. He yelled at the little boy and then grabbed his arm, shook him up, and vigorously escorted the two kids out. I’ve never witnessed a child being roughed up by an adult and honestly I don’t ever want to witness that again. After that we were all shocked and really didn’t know what to do. We didn’t witness the uncle “hit” the child so we couldn’t report it, and even if we did report it child services would have most likely thrown it out. It’s just so sad. What’s even sadder is that the grandmother showed up to the center just as the uncle and the kids were leaving and the kids refused to go with their grandmother because they were too afraid of what their uncle might have done to them if they did.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
MLK
The majority of my rest of week two was spent at Bishop State CC, which served as the surveying site for the MLK neighborhood. I spent my Tues-Thurs here signing in participants, consenting new ones, and administering the survey. Administering the survey to a larger group is definitely different from in-home surveys. You have the participants who goof off because they're with their friends or giggle at the sex questions. But, I really had easy groups that really cooperated with me throughout the 408 question survey.
If participants are noticeably falling behind on keeping up with my reading and the group's speed we pull them out and do a one-on-one survey. Even when the survey is only supposed to take 1.5 hours (these can run up to 2+ hours) I really like administering these. Spending one-on-one time with a child is pretty rewarding. A particular 1-on-1 survey that I read was for a 10 year old girl on Friday. We were at a different surveying site at a church in Whistler. We could tell that this girl was going to be a sweetheart the second she was signed up by her mom. One of the questions we are required to ask for new participants is their relationship with the person signing them up (parent, guardian, caregiver). This is to ensure that the consenter is truly the child's primary guardian/caregiver. This little girl came in with her mother and we asked the little girl what her relationship with the woman was. She looked really confused, so we asked is this your mother or aunt, etc. The little girl answered back with, "... uhm she's my bestest friend..." So cute. After prodding a little longer we finally got the answer we needed out of her-- that the woman was indeed her mother. After signing her up and getting consent we placed the little girl in an older group because that was the next group being tested. So we knew from the start that we would probably have to pull her out, but sometimes the younger participants surprise you and can really keep up.
So when she was pulled out, I started the 1-on-1 survey with her. Throughout the survey she would interrupt me with... "Can I ask you a question?" She was so sweet. With her first interruption she told me that her sister felt really bad about something and she wanted to talk about it with me. I was a little nervous about this at first because I had no idea what she would be telling me, but it was super sweet. She told me that this morning her sister spilt her juice. And that her sister didn't want to tell her mother because she was afraid that she would get in trouble. But she talked her sister into telling her mother and her mother wasn't upset. Her mother wasn't mad, she understood that mistakes happen. But the girl's sister still felt really guilty about wasting the juice. We talked about it for awhile. It was so innocent and sweet. After we got through the survive, about 2 hours later, I asked her what she would be doing with her $15. She said she was going to split it with her younger sister who wasn't old enough to take the survey. And that she would spend her half on her godson. Nothing for herself. When i asked her why she wasn't going to spend anything on herself she explained that giving it to her sister and godson would make her happy. What a sweetheart.
Monday, June 6, 2011
A rough Monday
So today was rough. First of all, my roommate and I are having a bit of an ant problem... and they bite. So that didn't start our day off very well.
So my partner, Aimee, and I had 4 scheduled in-home surveys to conduct today. So we had to check out the $$ and have everything ready on Friday because our first survey was at 9:30am so going into the office at 9 was pointless. So, our first family was actually approached last week when we were recruiting and informed us that they were packing up and moving that day. After asking for a change of address for their new location the mother informed us that she honestly didn't know where they would end up. It was so difficult to hear that. They were obviously losing their house and had nowhere to go. Surprisingly, the mother called a few days later to give us a new location and to set up an in-home survey. So, that was our first stop of the day.
Doing the first survey was disheartening. The children were evidently not up to par with other children their age in educational standards. It was our first glance into the failure of the education system in a severely low-income neighborhood. I felt so helpless. For the second survey site, we surveyed in a house run by teenagers. These children were raising themselves by themselves and doing the best they could. It was really depressing. The third and fourth survey sites were pretty typical. But after visiting four households and surveying 9 participants my partner and I were absolutely drained.
My boss, the program director, told us the first day of training that after a week in the field we would have more experience and a greater understanding of poverty in the US than some of the top researchers in the field. He was right.
So my partner, Aimee, and I had 4 scheduled in-home surveys to conduct today. So we had to check out the $$ and have everything ready on Friday because our first survey was at 9:30am so going into the office at 9 was pointless. So, our first family was actually approached last week when we were recruiting and informed us that they were packing up and moving that day. After asking for a change of address for their new location the mother informed us that she honestly didn't know where they would end up. It was so difficult to hear that. They were obviously losing their house and had nowhere to go. Surprisingly, the mother called a few days later to give us a new location and to set up an in-home survey. So, that was our first stop of the day.
Doing the first survey was disheartening. The children were evidently not up to par with other children their age in educational standards. It was our first glance into the failure of the education system in a severely low-income neighborhood. I felt so helpless. For the second survey site, we surveyed in a house run by teenagers. These children were raising themselves by themselves and doing the best they could. It was really depressing. The third and fourth survey sites were pretty typical. But after visiting four households and surveying 9 participants my partner and I were absolutely drained.
My boss, the program director, told us the first day of training that after a week in the field we would have more experience and a greater understanding of poverty in the US than some of the top researchers in the field. He was right.
New Orleans
We're only two and a half hours from New Orleans. So on Saturday morning 8 of us took off for a weekend trip. We stayed in a hostel--The India House-- off of Canal Street. It was a little further away from the French Quarters and Bourbon street, but it was only $17/person a night-- which is awesome! Me and three other girl interns split a 4 person room which was pretty nice. It had two bunk beds and it's own private bathroom/shower. The hostel was decorated so awesomely. If you're friends with me on Facebook check out the pictures. It was my first time in a hostel and I was thoroughly impressed. I highly recommend the India House-- just remember your student ID!
So after we tried to check into the hostel (we were too early and turned away awkwardly ha) we decided to head to the French Quarters for lunch. After driving around forever to find parking we settled for Cafe Amele. It was so beautiful there. We then met up with the other interns who left in the earlier car at Cafe Dumont (best frozen cafe au lait-- you have to get it)! We then decided to head out to this house destroyed by Katrina which was turned into a giant chalk board for people to express their "before I die..." wishes. We of course got distracted by everything on the streets-- stores, flea markets, etc... so we put off visiting the house until tomorrow. The flea market was amazing. Masks, voo doo dolls, authentic New Orleans all for CHEAP! We had to be in that flea market for at least an hour... I felt bad for our only guy Kenny haha. I bought a voo doo doll so don't piss me off! ;) We walked around some more, listened to some street bands, and got harassed by 'live statues' until we decided that we should probably officially go check into the hostel and get ready to hit up Bourbon Street.
Where we were staying we could see some Katrina damage. It was really depressing. The damage made the houses look rundown and uninhabitable, but it was still really different from the homes/public housing facilities that I've been visiting in Mobile. In New Orleans you could tell that the homes were damaged by a natural disaster, boarded up, and vacant. But in Mobile the homes aren't damaged from a natural disaster... they're cheaply made, worn out, over-crowded, and poorly kept. And the people living in them can't afford anything better so they stay-- even if they're uninhabitable (there are no other options). It's not an easy feeling to know that I'm able to categorize different types of 'poor' and different types of low incoming housing facilities. But, I like that I'm becoming more understanding.
We got dinner and then decided it was time to do Bourbon Street. Little kids were throwing beads off the balconies-- which made accepting them a lot less trashy haha. Then we got the signature grenade drinks, which had mixed reviews-- I thought they were good. It's a little unsettling that they don't/won't tell you what's in them (or how much alcohol for that matter... especially for public health students who mildly tore the bartenders apart haha). We then all stumbled upon these street break dancers. One of the interns, Kenny, is a break dancer who actually is pretty professionally known at Villanova for it. We kind of egged him, but it didn't take much, to showcase his moves. The break dancers were so nice and let him do it, he was amazing! It was so awesome because later on in the night (hours later) he got stopped on the street and congratulated on how good he was-- he had fans, so cool! We bar hopped and band hopped and had so much fun dancing to 80's rock and ending our night on a balcony overlooking Bourbon Street. After, we took the street car back to our hostel and called it a night.
In the morning we decided to head to that house I mentioned earlier-- the one destroyed by Katrina and turned into a chalkboard. The cars went separately, so me and three other interns visited the house and it was unbelievable. All of the 'Before I die..' chalk writing we're overwhelming and made you want to read them. Some of them were silly, while others were really touching. We all took turns adding to the chalk board. Before I die... I want to make a difference for those who need it.
So after we tried to check into the hostel (we were too early and turned away awkwardly ha) we decided to head to the French Quarters for lunch. After driving around forever to find parking we settled for Cafe Amele. It was so beautiful there. We then met up with the other interns who left in the earlier car at Cafe Dumont (best frozen cafe au lait-- you have to get it)! We then decided to head out to this house destroyed by Katrina which was turned into a giant chalk board for people to express their "before I die..." wishes. We of course got distracted by everything on the streets-- stores, flea markets, etc... so we put off visiting the house until tomorrow. The flea market was amazing. Masks, voo doo dolls, authentic New Orleans all for CHEAP! We had to be in that flea market for at least an hour... I felt bad for our only guy Kenny haha. I bought a voo doo doll so don't piss me off! ;) We walked around some more, listened to some street bands, and got harassed by 'live statues' until we decided that we should probably officially go check into the hostel and get ready to hit up Bourbon Street.
Where we were staying we could see some Katrina damage. It was really depressing. The damage made the houses look rundown and uninhabitable, but it was still really different from the homes/public housing facilities that I've been visiting in Mobile. In New Orleans you could tell that the homes were damaged by a natural disaster, boarded up, and vacant. But in Mobile the homes aren't damaged from a natural disaster... they're cheaply made, worn out, over-crowded, and poorly kept. And the people living in them can't afford anything better so they stay-- even if they're uninhabitable (there are no other options). It's not an easy feeling to know that I'm able to categorize different types of 'poor' and different types of low incoming housing facilities. But, I like that I'm becoming more understanding.
We got dinner and then decided it was time to do Bourbon Street. Little kids were throwing beads off the balconies-- which made accepting them a lot less trashy haha. Then we got the signature grenade drinks, which had mixed reviews-- I thought they were good. It's a little unsettling that they don't/won't tell you what's in them (or how much alcohol for that matter... especially for public health students who mildly tore the bartenders apart haha). We then all stumbled upon these street break dancers. One of the interns, Kenny, is a break dancer who actually is pretty professionally known at Villanova for it. We kind of egged him, but it didn't take much, to showcase his moves. The break dancers were so nice and let him do it, he was amazing! It was so awesome because later on in the night (hours later) he got stopped on the street and congratulated on how good he was-- he had fans, so cool! We bar hopped and band hopped and had so much fun dancing to 80's rock and ending our night on a balcony overlooking Bourbon Street. After, we took the street car back to our hostel and called it a night.
In the morning we decided to head to that house I mentioned earlier-- the one destroyed by Katrina and turned into a chalkboard. The cars went separately, so me and three other interns visited the house and it was unbelievable. All of the 'Before I die..' chalk writing we're overwhelming and made you want to read them. Some of them were silly, while others were really touching. We all took turns adding to the chalk board. Before I die... I want to make a difference for those who need it.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Future
So I went into my boss's office today to ask a question and he sat me down. He's heard me talking about my interests in public health and that I might be considering going to graduate school for public health. He discussed my recent graduation from Penn State, my majors, and my research experience and really didn't see me liking public health. In the nicest way possible he told me that I would be pretty disappointed with a public health degree and that I shouldn't limit myself to one program type. After asking me about my hopes and dreams and where I see myself in the future and what I aim to do as a person he reflected on them. I've always wanted to help design, implement, and evaluate interventions regarding a public health topic for children. He explained to me that public health degrees get you to focus on one sole problem-- obesity, alcohol, cancer, etc. And that public health degrees serve as an end-all... that most people in public health programs are getting the degree to get a certain job (like you can't have this job until you get this degree-- so you go back to school to get it, and then you get your job). And honestly what he was saying was true. It's a very limiting degree, especially at the master's level. And most professionals in public health are implementing already-developed empirical programs. They're not designing their own. He encouraged me to look into different programs like developmental psych or human development where I could get a Ph D and then work in public health departments, educational psych departments, or medical colleges to work with other professionals on developing intervention strategies for children based on their needs, which is exactly what I want to do.
As this discussion went on and on I was really appreciative. This man is in charge of such a life-changing and painstakingly long study. He is so kind, compassionate, and honest. He has 35 interns and knows all about my past research, educational experiences, and hopes and dreams-- and I've known him for a week. He took time out of his day (and my time away from finishing up some tasks-- while he was still paying me) to sit me down and get me thinking about my future. I don't like talking about my future because I'm still unsure how to get there. But having someone-- who has been through a PhD program and has seen many grad students come and go-- sit me down and discuss my options was really touching.
The fact that he felt that I had potential made me feel really important. He wanted to continue our conversation later, but assured me that if August rolled around and I was still unsure of what I'd be doing in the fall that there was always a spot for me in the University of Alabama's Human Development grad program. That's probably when my jaw dropped, "if you change your mind... it'd be no problem at all... I could get you into the program the day before class starts... just let me know."
As this discussion went on and on I was really appreciative. This man is in charge of such a life-changing and painstakingly long study. He is so kind, compassionate, and honest. He has 35 interns and knows all about my past research, educational experiences, and hopes and dreams-- and I've known him for a week. He took time out of his day (and my time away from finishing up some tasks-- while he was still paying me) to sit me down and get me thinking about my future. I don't like talking about my future because I'm still unsure how to get there. But having someone-- who has been through a PhD program and has seen many grad students come and go-- sit me down and discuss my options was really touching.
The fact that he felt that I had potential made me feel really important. He wanted to continue our conversation later, but assured me that if August rolled around and I was still unsure of what I'd be doing in the fall that there was always a spot for me in the University of Alabama's Human Development grad program. That's probably when my jaw dropped, "if you change your mind... it'd be no problem at all... I could get you into the program the day before class starts... just let me know."
Wednesdays
On Wednesdays we have debriefing meetings. We use this time to go over things that can be improved, that we may not be doing correctly, but most importantly we use this time to talk or vent about our experiences so far. It's really nice to have these meetings because the interns aren't always working in the same neighborhoods so it's interesting to hear about the different experiences that go on. My roommate and another girl have been working in Prichard by themselves. This is a very scary and desolate area. The city has gone bankrupt for the second time and the police force is known for being corrupt. Arson, rapes, and homicides occur daily in this neighborhood. Some streets are completely vacant and abandoned. People don't walk around frequently so it's almost like a rundown ghost town. These two girls have been working in this area by themselves and have been pretty terrified the entire time. They do run into some nice household who invite them in, but they are always being hassled and/or warned about their presence in the neighborhood.
Another girl, who was actually my partner on Tuesday, was told not to speak in one of the neighborhoods that I was in (MLK). As she is white, she was told that she should be seen and not heard unless she was spoken to and that people would feel threatened by her presence and that it would probably be safer for her to not stay in the neighborhood.
We do get thanked by the families 'for making a difference' or asked what their child's participation does and it's definitely a tough question. Some people view our presence in the neighborhoods as if we were Crusaders trying to rid the world of problems, but that's really not our intention. They think we want to be in the neighborhood to get the experience of a different lifestyle... but then after we get our experience we go right back to our privileged lives and talk about how changed we have become when we really haven't made any change for them and we leave them and their neighborhood in the same state before our presence. This makes sense. How would you feel if people kept coming into your neighborhood to get a 'life-altering experience,' they are changed by it, and then peace out? Imagine if this happened often, you would feel used too. And that's how a lot of them totally feel. This instance was discussed pretty thoroughly in our debriefing today and our boss/director explained our purpose the best. We're here to make the children feel that they are a part of something, part of a change-- that they can make a difference. We do use the data (13 years and ongoing) to study the true problems in the neighborhoods to better provide programs to alleviate these problems. We want to limit the risk factors that lead the youth in these low-income neighborhoods into futures involving incarceration, poor health, and even death. Giving the children something to be a part of year after year provides them with a purpose. Most of these children have nothing. They don't have t-ball practice on Tuesdays and violin lessons on Thursdays. A majority of the kids don't even know their birthdays-- why-- because what do you remember about your birthday? Presents and birthday parties... these children don't get those. Most of them have never had a birthday party--- so why would remembering the date be important? Providing them with a purpose and with the important role as a participant year after year allows them to indirectly have a voice that many of these children usually don't get. This discussion really hit home and even brought an intern to tears. It's the little things that make all the difference.
Another girl, who was actually my partner on Tuesday, was told not to speak in one of the neighborhoods that I was in (MLK). As she is white, she was told that she should be seen and not heard unless she was spoken to and that people would feel threatened by her presence and that it would probably be safer for her to not stay in the neighborhood.
We do get thanked by the families 'for making a difference' or asked what their child's participation does and it's definitely a tough question. Some people view our presence in the neighborhoods as if we were Crusaders trying to rid the world of problems, but that's really not our intention. They think we want to be in the neighborhood to get the experience of a different lifestyle... but then after we get our experience we go right back to our privileged lives and talk about how changed we have become when we really haven't made any change for them and we leave them and their neighborhood in the same state before our presence. This makes sense. How would you feel if people kept coming into your neighborhood to get a 'life-altering experience,' they are changed by it, and then peace out? Imagine if this happened often, you would feel used too. And that's how a lot of them totally feel. This instance was discussed pretty thoroughly in our debriefing today and our boss/director explained our purpose the best. We're here to make the children feel that they are a part of something, part of a change-- that they can make a difference. We do use the data (13 years and ongoing) to study the true problems in the neighborhoods to better provide programs to alleviate these problems. We want to limit the risk factors that lead the youth in these low-income neighborhoods into futures involving incarceration, poor health, and even death. Giving the children something to be a part of year after year provides them with a purpose. Most of these children have nothing. They don't have t-ball practice on Tuesdays and violin lessons on Thursdays. A majority of the kids don't even know their birthdays-- why-- because what do you remember about your birthday? Presents and birthday parties... these children don't get those. Most of them have never had a birthday party--- so why would remembering the date be important? Providing them with a purpose and with the important role as a participant year after year allows them to indirectly have a voice that many of these children usually don't get. This discussion really hit home and even brought an intern to tears. It's the little things that make all the difference.
Week 1
Hey all. So our first week in the neighborhoods of Mobile and Prichard started this Monday. We were divided up into partners and sent out into the neighborhoods to recruit participants. It was my partner's first day and she wasn't able to get trained until the next day so I was really nervous about showing her the ropes. That really put a lot of pressure on me because I definitely had to be on my game and not mess up while still making sure that I was completely aware of my surroundings and staying away from dangerous situations or things that made us feel uneasy. Being aware of your surroundings and what is going on around you is the best advice we received when walking around these neighborhoods. They're not neighborhoods where you see kids running through sprinklers, riding bikes, or anyone electing to walk around without a purpose. They're the kind of neighborhoods where most of the people hang around in their homes because being out isn't safe. So when anyone saw the two of us white girls on the street they asked us why we were here and told us it wasn't safe and that we should probably leave.
Nothing out of the ordinary happened that day. Monday really did serve as a glimpse into our future in this heat though. It's unbearable. Walking door to door in the hot and humid Alabama summer is really more difficult that I ever thought it would be. I am literally drenched in sweat from the moment I step outside until I get back to the office. And it's not even the 'oh I'm sweaty' feeling, it's the feeling when you leave the gym or an exercise class after sweating the whole time and you have sweat dripping everywhere... but imagine that in 100+ degree weather and not just for a moment until you cool off or take a shower... but from 9am-5pm. It's an experience. And I'm not complaining. I'm honestly getting acclimated to it, but I just have never experienced it before. My partner on Tuesday actually got heat exhaustion and started really not feeling very well-- and she's from North Carolina. Even people that are from the South have never experienced such intense heat and humidity before.
Tuesday was a little more interesting. We were out recruiting again in the same neighborhood. I had a different partner, but still the same addresses that I didn't get to the day before. Some houses that we knock on are home to the nicest people in the entire world. They're the kind of people that would literally give you the shirt off their back. They welcome us in and give us water or a cold drink. Multiple families have sat us down in their best chair and will move the fan facing us so that we feel comfortable. They seriously go way out of their way. It's just an absolute awesome feeling-- these families literally have close to nothing and go out of their way to show kindness to us and share their resources with us, and we're complete strangers. It's just something that doesn't happen often and I really am appreciating it.
We do meet some interesting people walking around the streets. These neighborhoods do have increased rates of violence and drug and alcohol abuse, so meeting people under the influence isn't out of the ordinary. A group of us were yelled and screamed at by this lady down the street who had supposedly been following the other members in our group all day. She was definitely intoxicated and/or under the influence of some sort of drug. She wanted to sign her kids up, but the other members of the neighborhood kept telling us that she didn't have any kids and that she was crazy. She kept telling us that she lived in that house... but the house she pointed to changed every time. She looked really disheveled with tight jeans on over men's gym shorts and a t-shirt on backwards. It was just really sad, but at the same time made us really feel uneasy. The other group had to deal with her the rest of the day. Being followed can get really scary and uncomfortable.
Today was the first time I really felt uncomfortable. Me and two other girls were recruiting and revisiting houses in a fairly rundown public housing neighborhood. There was garbage everywhere, half of the housing units were vacant and boarded up, and it just didn't seem very welcoming. It was definitely the most rundown neighborhood I've seen. We noticed a large group of men in their twenties hanging out on a porch down the street that we had to go on... and I was just thinking to myself that I really hope that's not the house we have to go to. Of course it was. The men were fairly friendly, but there was a car in front of the house that was idle, black, and had tinted windows. I could see that there were guys in it and one man on the porch kept going back and forth to the car and the porch. I don't know what he was doing, but it seemed really sketchy and made me feel really uneasy. I'm pretty sure the guys were all smoking weed and I couldn't tell if that car was selling them drugs but it really seemed that that was the case. I was just really uncomfortable because the people in the car could see me, but I couldn't see them and there were 3 white girls among 10 men from the hood. One of the interns was asked to come inside to get a consent form and she asked me if I wanted to come with her. I didn't want to leave the other intern outside alone with the men and I also didn't want all of us to go inside because that really didn't seem like a smart idea either. I don't know what the best decision would have been, but I stayed outside with the other intern and then the 3 of us booked it as fast as we could as soon as we could. It was the first time I really wasn't comfortable being in a neighborhood.
Working in these neighborhoods is beyond a reality check. These people don't want a pity party and don't want to be a charity case. They want respect and I really do respect them. Growing up in these neighborhoods is difficult and the challenges that these people face day to day we take for granted. We worry about stupid things while 10 year olds have to worry about things that hopefully we will never have to. But, just because these people live in rundown neighborhoods or public housing units doesn't mean they're awful. Most of them are beyond amazing. They have manners. They are hospitable. And they genuinely care about us and our wellbeing. It's just absolutely amazing. Just think about how many times you walk by someone on the street and not say 'hi.' That doesn't happen down here... everyone says hi and asks how your day is and sometimes they'll get into an extended conversation with you... and they're strangers. Sometimes you just don't notice how backwards your way of life and thinking are until you get a reality check from the people who sometimes are looked at in the public's eye as negative or less well-off. But really we're all pretty poor in different areas that they are more richer in than we may ever be. That's all from 3 days of work so far, I can't wait to see what 7 weeks will bring.
Nothing out of the ordinary happened that day. Monday really did serve as a glimpse into our future in this heat though. It's unbearable. Walking door to door in the hot and humid Alabama summer is really more difficult that I ever thought it would be. I am literally drenched in sweat from the moment I step outside until I get back to the office. And it's not even the 'oh I'm sweaty' feeling, it's the feeling when you leave the gym or an exercise class after sweating the whole time and you have sweat dripping everywhere... but imagine that in 100+ degree weather and not just for a moment until you cool off or take a shower... but from 9am-5pm. It's an experience. And I'm not complaining. I'm honestly getting acclimated to it, but I just have never experienced it before. My partner on Tuesday actually got heat exhaustion and started really not feeling very well-- and she's from North Carolina. Even people that are from the South have never experienced such intense heat and humidity before.
Tuesday was a little more interesting. We were out recruiting again in the same neighborhood. I had a different partner, but still the same addresses that I didn't get to the day before. Some houses that we knock on are home to the nicest people in the entire world. They're the kind of people that would literally give you the shirt off their back. They welcome us in and give us water or a cold drink. Multiple families have sat us down in their best chair and will move the fan facing us so that we feel comfortable. They seriously go way out of their way. It's just an absolute awesome feeling-- these families literally have close to nothing and go out of their way to show kindness to us and share their resources with us, and we're complete strangers. It's just something that doesn't happen often and I really am appreciating it.
We do meet some interesting people walking around the streets. These neighborhoods do have increased rates of violence and drug and alcohol abuse, so meeting people under the influence isn't out of the ordinary. A group of us were yelled and screamed at by this lady down the street who had supposedly been following the other members in our group all day. She was definitely intoxicated and/or under the influence of some sort of drug. She wanted to sign her kids up, but the other members of the neighborhood kept telling us that she didn't have any kids and that she was crazy. She kept telling us that she lived in that house... but the house she pointed to changed every time. She looked really disheveled with tight jeans on over men's gym shorts and a t-shirt on backwards. It was just really sad, but at the same time made us really feel uneasy. The other group had to deal with her the rest of the day. Being followed can get really scary and uncomfortable.
Today was the first time I really felt uncomfortable. Me and two other girls were recruiting and revisiting houses in a fairly rundown public housing neighborhood. There was garbage everywhere, half of the housing units were vacant and boarded up, and it just didn't seem very welcoming. It was definitely the most rundown neighborhood I've seen. We noticed a large group of men in their twenties hanging out on a porch down the street that we had to go on... and I was just thinking to myself that I really hope that's not the house we have to go to. Of course it was. The men were fairly friendly, but there was a car in front of the house that was idle, black, and had tinted windows. I could see that there were guys in it and one man on the porch kept going back and forth to the car and the porch. I don't know what he was doing, but it seemed really sketchy and made me feel really uneasy. I'm pretty sure the guys were all smoking weed and I couldn't tell if that car was selling them drugs but it really seemed that that was the case. I was just really uncomfortable because the people in the car could see me, but I couldn't see them and there were 3 white girls among 10 men from the hood. One of the interns was asked to come inside to get a consent form and she asked me if I wanted to come with her. I didn't want to leave the other intern outside alone with the men and I also didn't want all of us to go inside because that really didn't seem like a smart idea either. I don't know what the best decision would have been, but I stayed outside with the other intern and then the 3 of us booked it as fast as we could as soon as we could. It was the first time I really wasn't comfortable being in a neighborhood.
Working in these neighborhoods is beyond a reality check. These people don't want a pity party and don't want to be a charity case. They want respect and I really do respect them. Growing up in these neighborhoods is difficult and the challenges that these people face day to day we take for granted. We worry about stupid things while 10 year olds have to worry about things that hopefully we will never have to. But, just because these people live in rundown neighborhoods or public housing units doesn't mean they're awful. Most of them are beyond amazing. They have manners. They are hospitable. And they genuinely care about us and our wellbeing. It's just absolutely amazing. Just think about how many times you walk by someone on the street and not say 'hi.' That doesn't happen down here... everyone says hi and asks how your day is and sometimes they'll get into an extended conversation with you... and they're strangers. Sometimes you just don't notice how backwards your way of life and thinking are until you get a reality check from the people who sometimes are looked at in the public's eye as negative or less well-off. But really we're all pretty poor in different areas that they are more richer in than we may ever be. That's all from 3 days of work so far, I can't wait to see what 7 weeks will bring.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Pensacola
It's like really amazing that we can take a DAY trip to Florida. Me and about 20 of the interns went to Pensacola Beach for the day and it was only an hour drive. Amazing. The day was super relaxing, which we all kind of needed after last night.
SO last night we went out for one of the interns birthday in downtown Mobile on Dauphin Street. We were supposed to go to Studio 54 which is a dance club, but it was dead so instead we went to Club Atlantis instead. So on our way in the intern whose birthday it was approached the bouncer and told him it was her birthday and asked if he could let us jump the line. Southern hospitality. He let a group of about 10-15 people jump the line that was about a 2 hour wait. AND none of us had to pay cover-- $10 for girls/$20 for guys. It was epic. The club was so fun. Out of the white people in our group, we were the only white people in the club. At one point the DJ decided to shine the spotlight on all of us in the middle of the dance floor-- which only highlighted the fact that us white girls can't dance. So funny. After we left the club me and my roommate talked the hot dog stand man into giving us free hot dogs since we were visiting-- it worked. Southern hospitality.
Today the beach was amazing. It was 82, barely a cloud in the sky, and the water was basically clear and warm. I loved it. We all just relaxed and swam all day and eventually got seafood at this amazing crab restaurant, yum. The day was spent exchanging life stories which was really interesting and touching. Everyone is from such a different and diverse background which makes getting to know them so unique and real. Everyone's great and I'm really enjoying it down here. I miss everyone, especially my family... really wish they could be down here with me!
SO last night we went out for one of the interns birthday in downtown Mobile on Dauphin Street. We were supposed to go to Studio 54 which is a dance club, but it was dead so instead we went to Club Atlantis instead. So on our way in the intern whose birthday it was approached the bouncer and told him it was her birthday and asked if he could let us jump the line. Southern hospitality. He let a group of about 10-15 people jump the line that was about a 2 hour wait. AND none of us had to pay cover-- $10 for girls/$20 for guys. It was epic. The club was so fun. Out of the white people in our group, we were the only white people in the club. At one point the DJ decided to shine the spotlight on all of us in the middle of the dance floor-- which only highlighted the fact that us white girls can't dance. So funny. After we left the club me and my roommate talked the hot dog stand man into giving us free hot dogs since we were visiting-- it worked. Southern hospitality.
Today the beach was amazing. It was 82, barely a cloud in the sky, and the water was basically clear and warm. I loved it. We all just relaxed and swam all day and eventually got seafood at this amazing crab restaurant, yum. The day was spent exchanging life stories which was really interesting and touching. Everyone is from such a different and diverse background which makes getting to know them so unique and real. Everyone's great and I'm really enjoying it down here. I miss everyone, especially my family... really wish they could be down here with me!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Training
Hiiii friends.
So the past four days we've spent training. So backtracking a little bit, the research project I'm working on is at the University of South Alabama in Mobile. There are 27 interns and we'll be going around to the impoverished neighborhoods of Mobile and Prichard to families mostly living in public housing developments. The study has been ongoing for the past 13 years and it's trying to get a sense of how poverty affects adolescent development, risk behaviors, and decision making. This study is really awesome because it's the only longitudinal study that actually gets data directly from the adolescents by going out into the streets. A lot of other researchers are too afraid of going out into the violent neighborhoods so the majority of the existing data out there doesn't really reflect what's actually going on in these neighborhoods. So, the funding that goes out to these past/present research projects is actually funding programs that aren't really working-- why-- because the true cause of the problems aren't known therefore treating them inaccurately doesn't work very well. Also, a lot of the current research targets this at-risk population in the school systems to avoid having to go out in the neighborhoods but this also leads to biased results and missing an entire portion of the population-- those who have dropped out of school. So, school-based research doesn't really effectively provide the whole picture of the problem. So, our study actually goes out into the neighborhoods door-to-door based on previous participation and school-records (for addresses) to recruit previous and prospective participants. After we go door-to-door and neighborhood-to-neighborhod we bring the kids in to actually administer the survey in community centers, churches, etc. We'll be asking a series of questions about themselves, their views of themselves, their neighborhood, violence, relationships, sex, and drugs and alcohol to get a better sense of how their situation in life (poverty) affects their development and hopes for success in the future.
One really touching quote from a kid in one of the neighborhoods who told this to one of the researchers that really put this research in prospective was, "...why should I worry about my risk of getting AIDS at 25 when I'll probably be shot by then and won't even live that long." The stories from the kids and parents and possible scenarios that could/have happen(ed) are pretty intense--ranging from an intern administering a survey in a home and feeling something under the couch cushion which ended up being a gun to being jumped. This summer's really going to be an eye-opener and definitely a life-changing experience.
Tomorrow we'll actually be going out into one of the public housing neighborhoods to get a sense of what we'll be dealing with and become comfortable with the layout. Monday we'll actually be assigned partners and start heading out to the neighborhoods to start recruiting. I know a lot of this seems pretty intense, but don't worry we've been thoroughly trained and safety always comes first! Miss & love you all!
So the past four days we've spent training. So backtracking a little bit, the research project I'm working on is at the University of South Alabama in Mobile. There are 27 interns and we'll be going around to the impoverished neighborhoods of Mobile and Prichard to families mostly living in public housing developments. The study has been ongoing for the past 13 years and it's trying to get a sense of how poverty affects adolescent development, risk behaviors, and decision making. This study is really awesome because it's the only longitudinal study that actually gets data directly from the adolescents by going out into the streets. A lot of other researchers are too afraid of going out into the violent neighborhoods so the majority of the existing data out there doesn't really reflect what's actually going on in these neighborhoods. So, the funding that goes out to these past/present research projects is actually funding programs that aren't really working-- why-- because the true cause of the problems aren't known therefore treating them inaccurately doesn't work very well. Also, a lot of the current research targets this at-risk population in the school systems to avoid having to go out in the neighborhoods but this also leads to biased results and missing an entire portion of the population-- those who have dropped out of school. So, school-based research doesn't really effectively provide the whole picture of the problem. So, our study actually goes out into the neighborhoods door-to-door based on previous participation and school-records (for addresses) to recruit previous and prospective participants. After we go door-to-door and neighborhood-to-neighborhod we bring the kids in to actually administer the survey in community centers, churches, etc. We'll be asking a series of questions about themselves, their views of themselves, their neighborhood, violence, relationships, sex, and drugs and alcohol to get a better sense of how their situation in life (poverty) affects their development and hopes for success in the future.
One really touching quote from a kid in one of the neighborhoods who told this to one of the researchers that really put this research in prospective was, "...why should I worry about my risk of getting AIDS at 25 when I'll probably be shot by then and won't even live that long." The stories from the kids and parents and possible scenarios that could/have happen(ed) are pretty intense--ranging from an intern administering a survey in a home and feeling something under the couch cushion which ended up being a gun to being jumped. This summer's really going to be an eye-opener and definitely a life-changing experience.
Tomorrow we'll actually be going out into one of the public housing neighborhoods to get a sense of what we'll be dealing with and become comfortable with the layout. Monday we'll actually be assigned partners and start heading out to the neighborhoods to start recruiting. I know a lot of this seems pretty intense, but don't worry we've been thoroughly trained and safety always comes first! Miss & love you all!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Mobile
I MADE IT! Survived my first flight, too! I think the hardest part was finding a different gate, but that wasn't even that hard since I had like two hours to do it. I flew from Elmira to Detroit to Atlanta to Mobile. I think my least favorite airport was Atlanta, but that may be because my flight was overbooked and delayed which really freaked me out. Nothing bad happened, but everything was smooth sailing before that.
My first flight was pretty hilarious. Elmira's a really small airport so I wasn't expecting an amazing flight... it was okay though. My Mom went through security and waited with me until I boarded which was awesome. But, on the plane the lady sitting next to me did not speak one word to me! I thought that was super strange, not even a polite "hi." Not the type of person I wanted to be sitting next to while I potentially start to freak out because it was my first flight! SO. When we took off I was fine... it didn't bother me at all. But, I kept imagining myself freaking out... 'what if we hit turbulence'.... you know those irrational thoughts about 'what could' happen. And then I kept thinking, I don't think this lady reading her Equestrian magazines would give much of a condolence. Thank God the flight went smoothly. I wish I could have seen my face when the plane landed... my life may have flashed before my eyes a little bit.
The second flight was my fav. I sat in the window seats on each flight (thanks Mom!). But, the couple next to me (it was a 3-seater) was soooo nice. After the first Equestrian lady who never spoke to me I thought flight etiquette was to mind your own business. But, this lady I sat next to was awesome and super reassuring. I knew it was going to be a different flight when she offered me some mentos (who doesn't love mentos...).
Third, and last, flight was different. I got to my terminal/gate/whatever (I kept trying to call it a portal, shout out BJC...) super early. I tried to read (study for the GRE... whelp), but that task never really got accomplished because of my nerves. BUT, about 45 minutes before boarding they announce that the flight has been overbooked. Then I read the sign... "... we're looking for volunteers to postpone their scheduled flight..." This is where my mind goes to irrational... real quick. 'What if no one volunteers... are they going to kick me off...' 'If they kick people off I know it'll be me... I have the worst luck ever' 'If I get kicked off how will I get picked up... omgomgomg' So my nerves were on edge already and then the flight gets delayed because the flight attendants were behind schedule. Now my thoughts go to... 'How will I let my ride know...' 'What if I hold up evvvveryone' 'Everyone's going to be unpacked and having fun and meeting each other...' Needless to say, I got on the flight and it was delayed 10 minutes. HAH. So on this flight I sat next to a very nice lady from New Jersey who had heard of Elmira and swore her Grandmother was buried there. I've decided I really like when you sit next to someone who's a casual talker...
SO, I'm in Mobile... and I have to get to baggage claim... and figure out where my ride is. This was all easy enough. You should have seen their faces when they saw my two huge suitcases... first impression, yikes! But, I assured them that one suitcase was holding all of my bedding and pots & pans. We walked out of the airport and it was hot-- 90 degrees with a similar degree of humidity. OH. AND. So my flight to Mobile was supposed to leave at 5:30pm and arrive at 5:45pm... so I was like this is the shortest flight ever... 15 minutes... Well, while on the plane I start freaking out more because this feels like so much longer than 15 minutes. When I get off the plane and turn my phone on it jumps back and hour... and it all makes sense about the time zone change... I felt dumb haha.
Well, I'm all unpacked and moved in... This is the nicest apartment I have lived in yet. I have my own room, full-size bed, walk in closet, awesome kitchen, and everything is "new" looking. Ooh and free laundry and I didn't have to set up internet at all... I love it.
Tomorrow's my first of two training days, I'll let you know how they go! Miss you all!
My first flight was pretty hilarious. Elmira's a really small airport so I wasn't expecting an amazing flight... it was okay though. My Mom went through security and waited with me until I boarded which was awesome. But, on the plane the lady sitting next to me did not speak one word to me! I thought that was super strange, not even a polite "hi." Not the type of person I wanted to be sitting next to while I potentially start to freak out because it was my first flight! SO. When we took off I was fine... it didn't bother me at all. But, I kept imagining myself freaking out... 'what if we hit turbulence'.... you know those irrational thoughts about 'what could' happen. And then I kept thinking, I don't think this lady reading her Equestrian magazines would give much of a condolence. Thank God the flight went smoothly. I wish I could have seen my face when the plane landed... my life may have flashed before my eyes a little bit.
The second flight was my fav. I sat in the window seats on each flight (thanks Mom!). But, the couple next to me (it was a 3-seater) was soooo nice. After the first Equestrian lady who never spoke to me I thought flight etiquette was to mind your own business. But, this lady I sat next to was awesome and super reassuring. I knew it was going to be a different flight when she offered me some mentos (who doesn't love mentos...).
Third, and last, flight was different. I got to my terminal/gate/whatever (I kept trying to call it a portal, shout out BJC...) super early. I tried to read (study for the GRE... whelp), but that task never really got accomplished because of my nerves. BUT, about 45 minutes before boarding they announce that the flight has been overbooked. Then I read the sign... "... we're looking for volunteers to postpone their scheduled flight..." This is where my mind goes to irrational... real quick. 'What if no one volunteers... are they going to kick me off...' 'If they kick people off I know it'll be me... I have the worst luck ever' 'If I get kicked off how will I get picked up... omgomgomg' So my nerves were on edge already and then the flight gets delayed because the flight attendants were behind schedule. Now my thoughts go to... 'How will I let my ride know...' 'What if I hold up evvvveryone' 'Everyone's going to be unpacked and having fun and meeting each other...' Needless to say, I got on the flight and it was delayed 10 minutes. HAH. So on this flight I sat next to a very nice lady from New Jersey who had heard of Elmira and swore her Grandmother was buried there. I've decided I really like when you sit next to someone who's a casual talker...
SO, I'm in Mobile... and I have to get to baggage claim... and figure out where my ride is. This was all easy enough. You should have seen their faces when they saw my two huge suitcases... first impression, yikes! But, I assured them that one suitcase was holding all of my bedding and pots & pans. We walked out of the airport and it was hot-- 90 degrees with a similar degree of humidity. OH. AND. So my flight to Mobile was supposed to leave at 5:30pm and arrive at 5:45pm... so I was like this is the shortest flight ever... 15 minutes... Well, while on the plane I start freaking out more because this feels like so much longer than 15 minutes. When I get off the plane and turn my phone on it jumps back and hour... and it all makes sense about the time zone change... I felt dumb haha.
Well, I'm all unpacked and moved in... This is the nicest apartment I have lived in yet. I have my own room, full-size bed, walk in closet, awesome kitchen, and everything is "new" looking. Ooh and free laundry and I didn't have to set up internet at all... I love it.
Tomorrow's my first of two training days, I'll let you know how they go! Miss you all!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Things to live by...
Love this list...
50 Life Secrets and Tips:
50 Life Secrets and Tips:
- Memorize something everyday.Not only will this leave your brain sharp and your memory functioning, you will also have a huge library of quotes to bust out at any moment. Poetry, sayings and philosophies are your best options.
- Constantly try to reduce your attachment to possessions.Those who are heavy set with material desires will have a lot of trouble when their things are taken away from them or lost. Possessions do end up owning you, not the other way around. Become a person of minimal needs and you will be much more content.
- Develop an endless curiosity about this world.Become an explorer and view the world as your jungle. Stop and observe all of the little things as completely unique events. Try new things. Get out of your comfort zone and try to experience as many different environments and sensations as possible. This world has so much to offer, so why not take advantage of it?
- Remember people’s namesso that they feel appreciated and for your own future benefit when you want something from that person. To do this, say their name back to them when they introduce themselves. Then repeat the name in your head a number of times until you are sure you have it. Continue to use their name in conversation as much as possible to remove any chance of forgetting it. If you’re still having trouble, make up a rhyme about their name: “Dan the Man” or “Natalie flatters me.”
- Get fit!It’s ridiculous to think that we have one body, one sole means of functioning, and people are too lazy to take care of themselves. Fit bodies lead to better health, confidence and more success with romantic endeavors. I’d say those are 3 very good reasons to get in shape.
- Learn to focus only on the present.The past is unchangeable so it is futile to reflect on it unless you are making sure you do not repeat past mistakes. The future is but a result of your actions today. So learn from the past to do better in the present so that you can succeed in the future.
- Even more specifically, live in THIS moment.Even 10 minutes ago is the past. If you live purely in this moment you will always be happy because there is nothing wrong in this split-second.
- Smile more often.Whenever you get a grin on your face, your brain is releasing serotonin, the happy hormone. Smiling is the natural way to force yourself to be happy. Many people even smile for five minutes straight in the morning to get themselves in a great mood for the day. It is a very powerful tool that is utilized less and less as we grow older and need happiness more than ever. Just remember that while happiness leads to smiles, smiles also lead to happiness.
- Drink water.Hydration is tremendously important for overall health. Soda has absolutely ZERO nutritional content; it’s like pouring a punch of sugar and syrup into your cup. Instead, fill it with life-replenishing water. It may taste plain at first if you’re coming off of a heavy soda-drinking streak, but you’ll soon find yourself addicted to it. 10 glasses per day is optimal, how many have you been getting lately?
- Don’t take life so seriously!Learn to laugh at the little things and this whole “existence” thing will be a whole lot easier. Be amused by your mistakes and failures and be thankful that you learned your lesson and won’t mess up like that again. And most importantly do things that you enjoy! Life is not strictly business, it can be mixed with pleasure.
- Think positive thoughts.When you find yourself thinking a negative thought, stop it immediately by any means necessary. Slap yourself in the face, yell something positive at the top of your lungs or jump up and down. Do whatever it takes to get back to a positive mindset as such is essential for continual happiness and success.
- Read books.No explanation needed.
- Get in the sun.Superman was completely re-energized when he flew out to space and soaked in some rays and you can do the same right outside your front door (if you live in a constantly dreary place, my apologies). The sun feels amazing: your entire body will be coursing with warmth and life.
- Help others.I’ll just give you a plethora of reasons why this is a MUST
- Helping people has a ripple effect. If you help someone they will feel more obliged to help someone else, and so on. Pay it forward
- You grow by giving and helping others. It can change you in ways you never expected
- Your relationship with that person will become stronger
- It’s the most fulfilling thing you can do on this planet. It not only feels amazing physically, you also feel like a good person
- You might be able to call in a favor later when you need some help
- Karma (if you believe in it)
- Because there are more people in this world than just you
- Set aside a specific time to worry each day.Ponder all of your problems and anxieties during that time so that they will not distract you during work or moments of pleasure. This way you can be extremely efficient with your time and avoid focusing on negative things as much as possible. If you get all of your worry out of the way and have the mental fortitude to keep from reverting back to them, you will be much happier on the daily.
- Be honest at all times.Lies lead to nothing but trouble. Being known as trustworthy is an excellent trait to maintain and essential to having integrity.
- Sleep less.Fully adjusting to a new sleep cycle can take up to 21 days so don’t give up if you feel tired after switching to 5-hour nights. The “required” 8 hour/night is for normal people. If you’re reading THIS article on THIS site, you are not normal. So figure out how much sleep YOU really need and adjust accordingly. As enjoyable as sleep is, waking existence is much more fulfilling and efficient. IF this really sparks your interest, check out alternate sleep cycles with which you can be fine off of 2 hours of sleep per day.
- Read “Bringers of Light” and “Conversations with God” by Neale Donald Walsch.These books will help you decide what you want to do in this life and how to get to that point. They will also profoundly change the way you look at the purpose of existence. Read them!
- Figure out what your goals and dreams are.So many people wander aimlessly through life simply go for whatever small thing they want moment by moment. Instead, decide what your perfect life consists of and begin to put the steps in motion to reach that place. The most satisfying thing in the world (yes, better than sex, much better) is overcoming a challenge and reaching a goal. We are the happiest when we are growing and working towards something better.
- Start your day off right.Wake up and set aside an hour for personal development activities (meditation, self-introspection, observing nature, etc.) Do the things that make you feel blissful, optimistic and empowered so that you can set a positive tone for your day. I guarantee that once you start doing this, your days will be more enjoyable and fulfilling. Today is going to be the best day of your life. Duh.
- Utilize ‘The Burning Method.’Whenever a fear or worry or complaint comes to mind, close your eyes and imagine writing down the thought on a piece of paper. Then proceed to light the paper and fire and watch it disintegrate. Even better, actually write it down and burn it. You won’t have any problem ridding your mind of the thought after doing this.
- Travel.
Anyone who has ever gone anywhere will tell you that traveling is one of the most exciting and life-changing activities that you can do. Observing a different culture will expand your mind while making you further appreciate the life you already live. This goes back to becoming an explorer: this world is your jungle so go explore! Who knows, maybe you’ll find a place you love so much that you decide to move. Imagine the positive repercussions a new environment could have on your life.
- The Rubber Band MethodThis is the third and final way to rid yourself of negative thoughts (hopefully by now you have figured out that this is very important!). Place a rubber band around your wrist and snap it against your skin anytime a negative thought finds its way into your head. This classical conditioning technique associates a slight pain with negative thoughts like Pavlov associated food/salivation with the sound of a bell. Sounds a bit cruel at first but it only stings for a second, I promise. Plus the outcome, having only positive thoughts, far outweighs a little slap on the wrist here and there.
- Learn to be unaffected by the words of others.Most people get very upset when they are called negative names by others, but there is a simple trick to overcoming this. Here it is: If I went up to you and called you a fire hydrant, would you be upset? Of course not. Obviously you are not a fire hydrant, you are a human being. The same concept applies to when someone calls you something that you know you are not. They are foolish for saying such things, so why would you react with such anger? The only exception is when someone calls you something that is true! In this case, you should thank them for alerting you to a weakness, one that you can now work on changing.
- Read “Zen and the Art of Happiness” by Chris Prentiss.This book will give you the knowledge and instruction to be happy at all times regardless of the circumstances. Yes, this sounds like an oversimplification of happiness, but I assure you that this book will change you in an amazing way.
- Develop the ability to forgive.Forgiveness is something that most people fail miserably at even thought it’s so simple. Grudges only bring more misery to those who hold them and prevent good relations with the target. YOU makes mistakes all of the time so why not have mercy when other do? Remaining angry feels horrible while forgiving someone brings a refreshing sensation to the mind and healing to the relationship.
- Be the person that makes others feel special.Be known for your kindness and sympathy.
- Learn to lucid dream, or to realize when you are dreaming so that you can control your dreams. Sleep feels good, but its rather boring and unproductive. With lucid dreaming under your belt, night time can be even more exciting than when you are awake. You can do anything: fly, travel to other planets, party with a celebrity, get intimate with your dream boy/girl, etc. Many lucid dreams have also reported being able to speak directly with the subconscious during dreams by demanding to be taken to it after becoming lucid. For those that know a thing or two about your subconscious, that is a BIG deal.
- Visualize daily.It has been said and proven time and time again that what you focus on is what you get. If you complain all of the time, you will run into more of the things you complain about. The same goes for good things like health, wealth and happiness. So spend some time in the morning imagining yourself achieving whatever it is that you currently desire. Focus is key in this exercise, so choose a quiet environment where you won’t be disturbed. If you’re having trouble focusing and continually find that your mind has wandered to something else, read about meditation in the following life tip. There is a lot more to this concept, so check out the full article on visualization and the law of attraction here.
- Meditate everyday for at least 20 minutes.In this modern world where everyone is so connected to everything else via cell phones, TV and internet, most people rarely enjoy the beauty of silence. The ability to quiet your mind and relax your body is an art and skill that everyone should develop. Simply sit somewhere, preferably in nature, and focus on your breathing or try to think about nothing. This is going to be extremely hard at first! You might find it boring or just plain impossible to think of nothing, but you will get better and you will learn to love it. Post-meditation, you will feel extremely clear headed and.. well, just plain wonderful. The only way to really understand this sensation is to try it.
- Learn to control your mind.What kind of skilled human are you if you cannot even control your own thoughts? While the human mind is described as being a stream of consciousness, that does not mean you can’t decide where your stream flows. Techniques like meditation and the 3 ways to flush out negative thoughts will aid you immensely in learning to control your mind.
- Learn to control your emotions.The only person that can make you unhappy is you! You are the one that decides to be affected by the words and actions of others. Realize this so that the next time you experience a negative emotion, you can find the strength within yourself to overcome it.
- Take a class in speed reading.Books are full of information that can enhance your knowledge-base, vocabulary and yourself as a person. Speed reading is an easy way to get at this info faster so that you can have more time for other endeavors.
- Relax!This one is for you work-o-holics out there (myself included). Yes, work is very important and productive but you need to take some time to chill out everyday or you are going to burn out faster than a candle with no oxygen. Additionally, you need to reward yourself for a job well done. What’s the use of doing all of that work if you can’t have a little fun from time to time anyways?
- Work on making good first impressions.Practice a strong, firm handshake and the small talk that generally goes along with meeting someone for the first time. People won’t know what to think of you if you have nothing more to say beyond “My name is _______, nice to meet you.” Also make sure you remember names, as mentioned previously. Who knows, you may be going into business with or marrying this person you’re meeting for the first time if you make a good impression. Be sure and make an excellent one.
- Learn to use your eyes to their full potential:
- Make constant eye contact when in conversation. Looking away (especially down) is a sign of inferiority and unsureness. Instead, look at your conversation partner dead in the eyes and keep them locked on
- Master the piercing stare. You know when someone looks at you and it feels like they can see into your soul? Well that’s not a hereditary characteristic, it just takes practice. Work on sharpening your gaze in the mirror. You’ll know you have it when it’s intimidating to continue looking at yourself
- Master the one-eyebrow raise. This one isn’t necessary by any means, but hey, why not? Pick a brow to learn with and go look in a mirror. Raise both of your eyebrows but use your hand to hold down the brow that you want to stay down. This will probably feel very stupid at first but if you keep trying, you will eventually pin down the muscle you need to flex to get that one brow up
- Be mysterious.Don’t let off everything about you and definitely leave out some major details. There is something both alluring and mesmerizing about someone that no one knows fully about. I’m not saying to confide in no one or to alienate yourself. Just think James Bond.
- Come up with a life mantra.You know, like “Carpe Diem” or “Live life to the fullest,” but not as cliché. Make it something that really hits home with you so that you will actually stick to it. Make sure it’ not so specific that it rarely applies but also not so general that it’s not personal.
- Get good at something.Call it a hobby or a passion, whatever it is, just get damn good at it. Your occupation does not count! Make it something that you can practice often enough to excel at. Examples: Magic tricks, surfing, ping pong, creating short films, and unicycling. It can be anything but I would recommend choosing something that: 1) You are passionate about 2) You can bust out at any moment to display your skills for any discerning crowd. My mind goes immediately to aerobatics and break dancing, but that’s just me.
- Work out those abs.Above any other muscle group in the entire body, the abs are the most important. They constitute your core, the center point of your body. Your ability to balance comes almost completely from the strength of your abdominal muscles and balance is vital to performance in any physical activity. Summary: they’re very important. For more info on how to work out your abs, check out this video.
- Keep your brain sharp.The majority of people are stuck in ruts. They go to the same job everyday, hang out with the same friends and eat at the same places. While that may feel safe, it’s not the most stimulating lifestyle for your brain. Those synapses have been built up enough, so try something that you do NOT know how to do! Buy a model car kit, master the art of sudoku or crosswords, or go pick up another major at your nearest college. The point is you need to be learning new things to keep your brain honest. Form new synapses by forcing your mind to work in ways it has not worked before. Just like physical workouts, doing too much of the same exercise will eventually give no results. Switch it up!
- Read something inspirational right before bed and after waking.This will set get you in a great mood for sleep and for the day. Read anything from a famous speech to your favorite self-improvement book. Try to read something that get’s you really excited in the morning especially so that you’ll leave your house beaming with energy and wonder.
- Do what you love.
There is a huge difference between making a life and making a living; which one are you making right now? So many spend their entire lives trying to make as much money as possible so that they can afford to do what they really want later. It makes no sense to settle in life until you’re 65 so that you can retire and do what you want when you’re already WAY past your prime. We only live life once so why wouldn’t you want to spend it pursuing your bliss? To do anything else would be a tragic waste of the freedom you are allowed if you are reading this right now. Follow your bliss and you will be a thousand times more happy than your retirement date and 40+ years younger.
- Choose your friends wisely.You are affected far more than you think by the people you spend your time with. Do your friends share your values? Do they encourage you when you speak of your goals and dreams or do they scoff? Make sure the people around you are conducive to the lifestyle you want to lead or you will find yourself being dragged again and again into behavior that distances you from your desires. Friends with a habit of producing negative thoughts will especially hinder you. This can be a hard task to follow through with if you realize you good friend is one of these saboteurs, but you must be firm! Don’t let anyone get in the way of you being all that you can be.
- Don’t burn bridges.By that I mean maintain your relationships with people even if you think you are never going to see them again. For example, if you are quitting your job, don’t chew out your boss before leaving! You might run into him/her again later and life and wish you had never severed ties so harshly. You never know when you might need the help of someone you knew in the past. Plus there is already too much hatred in this world, why add more towards the people you interact with?
- Keep a journal/diary.It sounds like a very monotonous habit at first, but when you get into it, that little book will become a great way to organize your thoughts and track your growth over the years. Most of us already stay awake in bed at night pondering the events of the day anyways so why not document those thoughts in an organized fashion? That will allow you to look back and observe how your way of thinking has changed over time.
- Read “New Pyscho-Cybernetics” by Dr. Maxwell Maltz.This book will explain why the content of your thoughts has such a profound effect on your life through religious, philosophical and scientific arguments. A must read for completely understand who this life thing works.
- Learn to use and trust your subconscious/intuition.When you spend time in silence everyday, listen not for words but for a feeling that tells you to do something. Do not mistake your own reasoning and thoughts for those of your subconscious. If you can track where the thought came from, (this thought led to that thought which led to this thought, etc.) then it was not from your subconscious. Learning to accurately discern between the two will allow you to tap into knowledge that you don’t consciously have.
- Develop a charismatic personality.You know, the kind of personality that is surrounded by people constantly and is the life of the party. Start visualizing yourself as THAT person. Maybe take a short course on dynamic speaking and learn some jokes. Take the time to learn some party tricks and sleight of hand. Most importantly, believe that you already are charismatic even if you fail at beign the center point of the next party. Lie to yourself constantly and tell yourself that you are more warm and gregarious than Ronald Regan. Belief is the first step! Reality will come soon after.
- Love is all there is.If you truly want to be a master of life, let love be in your every action. Love your friends, family and enemies alike. This is the most difficult thing to do out of this entire list, which is why it is listed at #50. But if you accomplish this, you will be seen as a leader among everyone that allows hate, envy, disgust and all other negative emotions into their lives. Think Gandhi. Love is so rare in this world when compared to the massive presence of hate that by exuding love, you will immediately see yourself and the people around you change. Love. Love. Love.Source: http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/8YZSE0/www.highexistence.com/life-secrets-and-tips/comment-page-1
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